As A Foundation…
I have been married for almost 8 years. We have a 6yr old boy, a 4yr old girl and a 2yr old boy. When we got married I had several hobbies. I loved hunting, snowboarding, playing softball & basketball, building stuff & spending A LOT of time working at the church office as if the success/failure of the church depended upon the time I spent at the church.
I kept up this busy life style for nearly 5 years. I more or less saw my wife and children as hindrances to my schedule, hobbies and routine. I never realized that they were to be my first church and my “hobby”. I would have never said that they were hindrances but my actions stated that perfectly clear. Understand, there were very few people, if any, who would have noticed this.
You see, I had so many idols in my life that I could not be the Daddy I wanted to be much less the Christian I was professing to be. I was my greatest and most prized idol. My happiness, time and satisfaction were the tops of my priority list. I preached about loving God and your family and serving them but did little of that myself. Pastoring my family was a concept I heard of but never knew what it meant. I guess I assumed I was doing it. This is a sad fact but most fathers today have very little knowledge of what it means to be the pastor in their home—meaning that they’re probably just fathers and not really daddies.
Now, for me and my family, a lot has changed. I by no means have it all figured out, but I am certainly not the same father I was. What happened? The gospel. The gospel revealed so many of my selfish, wicked idols that I had to work through, confess and repent of. Also, I almost lost my wife and youngest boy over the last 14 months. Looking back, I know it was God using my family to help me realize I was out of control.
What We Do…
I have been asked twice over the past week how I teach and lead my children. Here are some things we do with our children to help teach them and train them in the Word (in no particular order).
- We play. Whether it is building a fort (cutting down trees, digging steps, moving rocks), riding our bikes, playing at the park or even working in the yard WE PLAY.
- We read. Almost every night we read a book with our 6yr old for his homework. Also I always read them (individually) a brief Bible story and prayer from this book. We talk through what it means and usually have a decent discussion regarding the Scripture and prayer. After this we work on memorizing a catechism. We are teaching our kids the catechism found here. Not every night but fairly often (based on how late it is), we will read from Heroes of the Reformation. These three resources were purchased at this year’s Desiring God’s Conference for Pastors. This takes time and your kid(s) will ask a lot of questions. Do not short-change your children. Answer their questions carefully, accurately and biblically. Dedicate your evenings to them…not necessarily to your favorite sitcom. Get a DVR if you must. Do not make your first priority TV and your children something that must be hurried so you can get to your program.
- We memorize Scripture. Every day on the way to take JJ to kindergarten we memorize verses from the Bible. I found the Foundation Verse Pack (ESV) from Children Desiring God. I cannot put into words how thrilled I am that my boy is stoked about learning the Bible. I am personally challenged by his zeal.
- We discipline. When our children disobey us or an authority in general, we discipline them. This can be carried out in several ways (this post is not going to deal with that in detail). I learned this from one of Mark Driscoll’s sermons. Following the discipline, I take the child aside and ask, “Who are you?” He answers, “JJ.” I say, “That’s right. Who am I?” He says, “Daddy.” I then say, “How does Daddy feel about JJ?” He then replies, “You love me.” I say, “That’s right JJ. Daddy loves you a lot. So JJ, what should that make you want to do?” He answers, “To listen and obey.” I then say, “That’s right JJ. Daddy loves you. Because I love you so much, you should want to obey me.” Basically, your children should not obey because they are scared. Rather, they should obey because of your love for them. This is how it is with God. This is a great way to teach our kids about Jesus Christ and His love for us.
These are my thoughts on this particular issue. I hope you found it beneficial. Grace to you.
For Further Study:
admin Uncategorized Children, Driscoll, Parenting, The Gospel
heart has been wrecked for that struggling country. There have been several times this week that I talked with Jill about trying to fly or take a boat into the shredded, discouraged country simply to move large rock and stone off of bodies for a week or two. I pray that things get in order soon so that many can make their way to Haiti to offer them aid.